Dysfunctional Daddy

Choosing to be a nurse can be very rewarding but also has its downsides, as most professions do. The biggest downside for me is having to work some weekends and Holidays. Unfortunately, I have to miss family gatherings, birthday parties, etc to go to work and take care of other people's family members on these special days. With that said, I try to make arrangements in advance so our kids can have the best time possible. My husband is a great dad and spouse, he does his best to remember the small details that matter to me but in the end; he's still a man and isn't detail oriented. When the kids have a birthday party on a day I'm scheduled to work, I get the present in advance and make sure it's wrapped, lay their clothes out so they don't look like they're sporting a homeless chic fashion trend, and make sure he knows the time and address of said party. Pretty self explanatory for him, right?

Nope! Not in our house!

 I went to work with confidence knowing that over the years I had perfected my plan for birthday party days. I had learned that wrapping presents, in appropriate themed paper, was not a given. We had the baby shower themed birthday party wrapping incident of 2007. He said it looked "kiddie" because it had teddy bears on it. He failed to notice the pink and blue rattles and "Baby Shower" written on the side! I had learned that allowing him to pick out an outfit for Hailey wasn't always the best decision. The one and only time I allowed that to happen, he dressed my little girl in a baby blue velour track suit that had huge red roses sewn on it and put a neon purple onesie underneath. When I asked what possessed him to dress her in that, he said it was hanging in the closet with the tags still on it so he thought it was special. It was special alright! It was hanging in there for the special day when we decided to take her mud riding and then use it to start a bon fire afterwards! I had learned that leaving the house for a birthday party didn't mean that he knew where he was going or that bringing the invitation just in case he needed the phone number was also not always a given. I had learned so many lessons and knew this time would be disaster free. 

I came home from work, excited to find out how the party went. Since I work 12 hour shifts and get home late, Hailey  was usually ready for bed when I walked through the door. But to my surprise, she was still running around in her party dress. I asked my husband if they got home late and he said they didn't. I asked if we had somewhere to go and he said we didn't. So I asked why she wasn't ready for bed. He looked at me with a strange expression on his face and looked over at her, then back at me and said, "she is." This answer left me confused so I asked him what she wore to the party. I shouldn't have asked! He went to the dirty clothes pile and dug out a shirt and pants, held them up and said, "These! You had them laid out for her to wear. I'm not dumb, I put her in what you had out." My response was not the nicest thing I've ever told him by far! It went something like, "Well, Mr. NOT dumb, THOSE are her pajamas!!! Those were for after the party."  He tried to defend his thought pattern saying that he thought the dress was a nightgown and that I had pants laid out so it would be easier for her to play and some other ridiculous  nonsense. I stopped listening because I couldn't believe that my foolproof plans were again, proven by a fool to not be foolproof!

Needless to say, I've kind of given up! If you invite my kids to a party, please know they may show up 3 hours late to a pool party in snowsuits with an over the hill gift bag. I apologize in advance; it's just who we are!